Whynot does your husband hold alot of guilt for being DF especially since he was a elder. The indoctrination men go through when becoming a elder deals with alot of guilt. Always being told you need to do it this or that way. Are you secretly sining some way such as looking at porn. They constantly tell you are nothing but a good for nothing slave. All this makes a person self worth non-existent. I knew on person who was a elder commit suicide for looking at porn another who had a nervous breakdown for not being a good enough elder.
I say this because it will make a person to prove to themselve they are good and spiritually approved before god. Cults do very strange things to people and especially to those who had responsible in the cult and guilt plays a major problem. Take from a person who was a elder for 25 years. I hope everything will work out for both of you. Still Totally ADD